Sherlock Holmes and The Adventure of the Pie Maker and Dead Girl
by MoriartyParty
Summary: On a holiday in London, Ned and Chuck meet Sherlock and John. Murder, mystery and bee keeping ensues!
1. Chapter 1: (PD)

A/N: I apologize if I get any information regarding London or even England in general wrong, as I have never left Australia and can't be bothered Googling if I am wrong (really dedicated to my craft…)

Description: AU, canon pairings and implied Johnlock.

Disclaimers note: I don't have rights to any of these characters or storylines.

**Chapter 1: (PD)**

It was exactly three days, seven hours, twenty eight minutes and forty nine seconds since Ned and Chuck had arrived in London. To celebrate the one year anniversary of Chuck's resuscitation from death, Ned had handed the keys of The Pie Hole over to Olive, along with Digby and his supply of peanut butter flavoured dog treats, and the two had left for the airport and boarded the second plane out of the country. Although they had agreed to buy tickets for the first plane leaving America, upon seeing it was headed towards South Africa, they had come to a mutual decision to holiday in a safer destination.

At this exact point in time, Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles sat at the dining table of the hotel in which she and Ned were staying, eating scrambled eggs on toast, complete with margarine and ground pepper, and enjoying being alive. Ned stood at the window of the dining room, his fingers drumming against his jeans, as he noted for the thirty second time that morning how cold London was. Regretting their decision not to leave for South Africa, he had to remind himself that it was better to have a head cold than to have a bullet in your head.

'Any news?' Ned asked, taking a seat at the table next to Chuck and turning up the television in the adjoining living area. Chuck swallowed a mouthful of scrambled eggs, before shaking her head. Ned read the headlines running across the bottom of the screen; _'Job losses will continue, says Minister,' 'Five Directions; X-Factor winners announce split' __and __'Female body found in Thames.' _

'Female body found in the Thames,' Ned said out loud. Chuck chose that moment to take a particular interest in the wood of the table they were sitting at. Just a year ago, _she_ had been as dead as the woman found in the Thames. Not a minute later, the newsreader crossed to a reporter at the scene where the body was found. Female, early twenties, in water for extended period of time, unknown cause of death, police offering reward for any members of general public who can give any information.

'If Emerson was here you know what we'd be doing right now,' Chuck said, knowing that if Emerson was there, they would be doing exactly what they were usually doing. But at this point in time, Emerson was not there, rather in the third stage of sleep in his Queen sized bed in America. Ned thought for exactly four seconds, that perhaps Emerson had finally made his way into Chuck's brain. That in her mind too, the word 'murder' had become synonymous with 'money.'

'You don't seriously want me to wake her, do you?' Ned asked. They were on holiday, and holiday usually meant a break from working. Chuck stood to leave for the kitchen with the empty plate, as the news was now showing the diving search and rescue crew swimming in the Thames, and then the pixelated human they had found being lifted from the water and onto the ground.

'Well…yes. She was found in similar circumstances to me, and a similar age as me, and like with my case, justice needs to be served.'

Ned rolled his eyes back in his head, Chuck reminding him of a Hollywood star with her clichéd speech. Chuck placed the dishes down onto the kitchen bench and moved to stand in a pose that _now_ reminded him of Superman, with her legs shoulder width apart and her hands on each hip.

'Don't you roll your eyes at me, you used that line when you brought me back, remember?'

Ned did in fact remember, and he also remembered when Chuck was still an unidentified murder victim headlining all news reports. He remembered wanting to know who had murdered the young woman on her way to see the world, and now he wanted to help the same young woman help another young woman to catch _her _murderer.

'If you really want to, I suppose we could cancel our trip to Buckingham Palace and find the morgue she's in?'

At this, Chuck's face changed into an expression that made her look as though she were a five year old girl given her first Barbie doll on Christmas morning. Ned made a mental note to cancel the taxi he had ordered to pick them up at eleven am to take them to Buckingham Palace, and on a new mental page, made another note made another to find the morgue at which the body was most likely being stored.

Exactly one hour, three minutes and fifty six seconds later, Ned and Chuck were in a taxi, with St Bartholomew's hospital programmed into the GPS.


	2. Chapter 2: (S)

A/N: Thank you very much for feedback! This chapter is quite rushed as school is very crazy at the moment (I'm in my final year!) Hope to have the next chapter up soon to make up for it though!

Disclaimers note: I don't have rights to any of these characters or storylines.

Chapter Two: (S)

'Is that a new perfume you're wearing, Molly?' Sherlock asked, the corner of his mouth turning up into the smile John saw all too often. At the morgue, the stations, the clinic. He didn't understand how it worked on anyone, especially Molly. After compliments on her hair style, blusher colour and the positioning of her collar (all within the last week) he would have thought Molly would be able to see the smile for what it was.

Instead, Molly's own mouth turned into a smile, and she mumbled something about a sale at the department store. Sherlock looked at John, and John rolled his eyes at Sherlock, and Sherlock turned back to look at Molly.

'Thames body, can I take a look?'

Molly now looked at John, catching on to what Sherlock had done. About time too, he thought. She turned around to face her desk, where she picked up a pile of files that had already been finalised, and started to sort them into groups.

'Sorry, I'm waiting on someone from the Yard to come down…it's _not_ you, I asked Greg,' she finished, as Sherlock opened his mouth, ready to claim that it was he who had been sent down (or to ask who Greg was…)

The door to the morgue opened, stopping Sherlock from speaking better than John ever could. In the doorway stood a man and a woman. The man was tall…blimey, taller than Sherlock, thought John…and his hands were in the pockets of his black trench coat, making his shoulders sit somewhere around his ears. The woman was shorter, and dressed in more floral and frills than Molly.

'Oh, hi, you must be-'

'Ned,' the man said, stepping into the room and taking a hand from his pocket to shake Molly's hand. Sherlock and John exchanged looks, as she looked at her feet as she spoke next, the way she always did when dealing with someone she viewed as a potential male partner. Or just males in general.

'-you must be here for my body- I-I mean, _the_ body, the Thames body! You're from Scotland Yard?'

'Yes, Detective Inspector…Cod sent us,' the woman spoke up, and shook her hand with Molly's, her collection of bracelets hitting Molly's own collection.

'I'm Charlotte, call me Chuck.'

'Molly Hooper, call me…Molly.'

'John Watson. Nice to meet you, Ned, Chuck,' John said, to save Molly from the silence he knew would follow her attempt at her joke. He then turned to look at Sherlock, who instead shaking hands or smiling, was staring at Ned and Chuck with a face that said 'not nice to meet you.'

'This is Sherlock Holmes. We're partners. _Not_ like that,' John added, giving Chuck a look, even though he could tell he had as much a chance with her as Molly did Ned. He wasn't a member of the Holmes family, but he could tell a thing or two about relationships between other people.

'Uh, Cod? I thought Lestra-'Molly started, before being interrupted by Sherlock.

'Not like what?' Sherlock asked, his voice doing that thing that John knew it only did when he was being serious.

'Not like…you know...'

'If I knew, why would I have asked?'

John sighed, regretting choosing to become partners with someone with the same understanding of social cues as a two year old.

'Sorry, we were just leaving, good luck with the body,' John said, nodding at Ned, Chuck and Molly. Sherlock followed John's moves, his smile for Molly long gone. The two walked into the hallway outside the morgue and started walking towards the elevators at the end of the hallway, and John was talking about Sherlock acting like a five year old, when Sherlock stepped in front of him, stopping him.

'Bloody hell, Sherlock, we're not going back in there, you can't get access to the-' John began, as he'd already been through this situation enough times to know that the only way Sherlock would get access to the body would be in a way that would result with him in a prison cell. When news of the Thames body had been made public, Sherlock had Lestrade on the phone within two minutes, yet he had refused to allow Sherlock on the case due to the need for a more appropriate individual to be working on it. Yet Sherlock was not going to let a case like this ('like a shiny new toy, but better!' was the way he had described the news) escape him, and had come to the morgue to examine the body and begin his own side investigation when Molly had caught onto his plans.

'Detective Inspector Lestrade would not put me on this case as the circumstances surrounding it required an individual with a certain level of expertise to be working on it, in particular, to be completing any work associated with the body. Such an individual would have been appointed by Lestrade, as he is the highest authority involved in the case. Yet Ned and Chuck claim that they have been sent by 'Detective Inspector Cod?''

John's eyes focused on the light fitting above Sherlock's head as he thought for some explanation, hoping that he could come up with soon, because he was not ready to be pulled into another Sherlock Holmes versus Scotland Yard situation.

'…Lestrade could have been asked to step down due to…the circumstances, right…and Cod was asked to take over?'

'Yes, that might be a possible explanation…if Cod existed.'

Damn.

'Sherlock, you don't know every employee of Scotland Yard …' John started, but Sherlock took his hand and placed it across John's mouth.

'I know of anyone with a higher authority than Lestrade...they've had to deal with me in a number of situations…' Sherlock's eyes took on a look of serious concentration, and John could have sworn he mouthed 'prison cell.' While he appeared distracted by his memories (he did not want to know what they involved, but anything involving Sherlock Holmes and police officers never had a good ending), John pulled Sherlock's hand off his mouth.

'Okay, well just say Cod doesn't exist…what is your point?'

'My point is that Ned and Charlotte have as much right to be examining that body as I do.' Sherlock said, back in reality.

'And you have...?'

'Technically speaking…none.'

'I _still _don't see your point?'

'We're going to find out why they are lying in order to see a body…' Sherlock said, placing both hands on John's shoulders and turning him around to face the direction from which they had just come.

'I'm the only one who gets to do that.'

**A/N: I don't even know, I just needed a reason for Sherlock not to be on the case so decided that Lestrade would need someone particularly educated on human decomposition in water or something, I don't know, wow.**


End file.
